Date of death: 1/16/2024
Saint Meinrad Class: O 1968
Erwin “Paul” Hoeing, 81, died on January 16, 2024, with his cherished wife, children, and grandchildren surrounding him with love, and a community of prayer enveloping him in peaceful comfort. A man of incredible faith, a husband of endearing love, a father of endless pride, and a brother of constant support, he spent his life cultivating relationships and strengthening community. To friends and strangers alike, Paul always made time to share a warm smile, a sincere word, or a hearty chuckle. Much like the outreach he practiced daily, he leaves this world with a strong, lasting embrace.
Lessons of hard work and humility shaped Paul’s upbringing in northern Indianapolis, where his father chose work at the city’s lumber company in lieu of life on the family farm. As the fourth of seven children, Paul spent his childhood days fulfilling obligations as an altar server, delivering newspapers, and mowing lawns with his brothers. He recounted how his parents, the late Erwin and Catherine Hoeing, instilled in him not only the responsibility of completing the job, but also the importance of respect while doing so. The rewards of hard work were equally memorable – he loved to reminisce of the summer hours spent at the Riviera Swim Club, especially when they followed dinners of his mother’s fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
Music was particularly influential to Paul, affecting how he experienced and remembered many life events. As he contemplated his path after high school in seminary, he visited a Trappist abbey in Gethsemani, where he was awed by the monks’ chanting and way of life. Quite fortunately, he received some sage advice to first get his “feet on the ground” outside seminary, which led him to Marian College and – ultimately – the love of his life, Beth Sutherland. After courting her through college and proposing in the side bedroom at Christmas, Paul and Beth were married on January 29, 1966, initiating their own shared journey of faith and love. Over the next 57 years, Paul’s favorite song became, “I’ll Never Find Another You.”
While building a career in human relations took Paul and Beth to multiple locations across the country, together they also created a family that spanned two decades of children. Paul liked to brag he had seven “best” days of his life – the day each of his kids was born: Lynn, Sharon, Keith, Kevin, Stephen, Laura, and Emily. Whether filling an entire pew at church or packing a full station wagon for road trips, Paul’s greatest pride emanated from having everyone together. Undoubtedly the many hours of his workday requiring skilled deliberations with workers’ unions prepared him well for the countless more he devoted at home to communicating to his children just how amazing they each were in their own special way. Continuing the legacy of his parents, Paul modeled the values which he instilled: respect for those he served through work (evident in yearly Christmas cards to a student he drove on a school bus in 1966) and a strong work ethic of commitment and punctuality (requiring all children in the church pew a full ten minutes before start). Unsurprisingly, music frequently accompanied the everyday and special occasions, with Paul leaving lasting memories of playtime on the floor in front of the family stereo listening to the Carpenters, road trips marked by collections of tapes from Neil Diamond, and wedding days with Bette Midler’s “Going to the Chapel…” on repeat.
Over the years, as Paul and Beth navigated a life of many children, jobs, and moves, they remained steadfast in their commitment to each other, finding community in the local Catholic parishes and guidance in friends from Marriage Encounter. In retirement, Paul’s faith became his occupation, and his grandchildren his hobby. He stayed busy attending daily Mass at St. Leo’s, being involved in many aspects of parish life, delivering the eucharist at the hospital, and serving on the Board of Room At The Inn. As frequently as he traveled to Raleigh for NC State women’s basketball games, he stayed rooted in his recliner, mesmerized as he held his newest grand- and great-grandchildren (he leaves 19, with one on the way). The family chided it had been a “gold tooth day” when Paul’s broad smile never left his face, soaking up the bustle and shenanigans of his large family. Even into his last days, he shared the gift of bringing people together, planning a Hoeing family reunion for 90+ people in Indianapolis in the summer of 2023. Not shy to share his feelings through conversation, email, phone call, or note, Paul leaves us with countless expressions of love and the constant reminder of our task on earth: be grateful; be joyous.